Vulnerability in leadership is the conversation almost no one wants to have out loud. We praise the people who push through, stay strong, and never complain. We hand them the promotion and the pat on the back. And we rarely ask what it is costing them when they finally get home. In this episode of Got Your Six, Dr. Traci sits down with Captain Steve Mills, a retired US Navy chaplain who has spent more than three decades walking beside people through combat, crisis, grief, and now hospice care. Steve has done the death notifications. He has sat in silence with a sailor who just needed someone to be there. He has buried two siblings and built a fort in his backyard to honor his brother. He knows what real strength looks like, and it is not silence.
Vulnerability in leadership is the conversation almost no one wants to have out loud. We praise the people who push through, stay strong, and never complain. We hand them the promotion and the pat on the back. And we rarely ask what it is costing them when they finally get home.
In this episode of Got Your Six, Dr. Traci sits down with Captain Steve Mills, a retired US Navy chaplain who has spent more than three decades walking beside people through combat, crisis, grief, and now hospice care. Steve has done the death notifications. He has sat in silence with a sailor who just needed someone to be there. He has buried two siblings and built a fort in his backyard to honor his brother. He knows what real strength looks like, and it is not silence.
Together they take apart one of the biggest misconceptions in leadership: that strength and suffering always look different. Sometimes the strongest person in the room is simply the one who has learned to hide the pain the best. Steve and Dr. Traci talk about the conversations leaders avoid, starting with the ones they refuse to have with themselves. They get honest about fear, rejection, grief, burnout, and the rising rate of suicide among veterans and the people we lead every single day.
This one is raw, real, and no fluff. If you are leading while exhausted, carrying more than people can see, or quietly wondering how much longer you can hold it together, this conversation is for you.
In this episode, you’ll discover:
We talk about:
00:00 The conversation most leaders are afraid to have out loud
02:30 Meet Captain Steve Mills: Navy chaplain, firefighter, and hospice chaplain
04:00 "You can't do it alone": the helicopter crash that changed everything
06:30 From a wheelchair to six marathons: Steve's story
08:30 Becoming a Navy chaplain and the leaders who made or broke the mission
11:00 Life in thirds: firefighting, chaplaincy, and hospice
12:30 "Keep walking": the tagline behind the man
15:30 The conversations leaders avoid, and why they start with yourself
17:30 Servant leadership and the fear of being rejected
20:00 Vulnerability in leadership: why we hide it and what it costs
22:00 Silence, processing, and how strong people isolate themselves
25:00 The ministry of presence: being embedded with your people
28:00 The coldest baptism and leading from the front
29:30 Why humor heals and how laughter releases the pressure
31:00 Mirror work: the self work most leaders skip
35:30 Ten minutes of silence: the counseling session Steve never forgot
40:30 What people misunderstand about strength
42:30 Creating environments where honesty is not punished
43:30 "Now is not your time": grief, focus, and the time and place for everything
44:30 When crying is your body releasing the emotion
47:00 Burnout, mental health, and the suicide conversation we keep avoiding
49:00 Anger, faith, and the outlets that keep you whole
53:00 Grief as a gift: sunflowers, Fort Keith, and honoring the people we lose
58:00 Strength is not the absence of struggle: the takeaway
59:00 An invitation to lead with clarity, resilience, and support
Resources:
Connect with Steve
Connect with me
#VulnerabilityInLeadership #LeadershipAndMentalHealth #StrengthIsNotSilence